Because without reclaiming the divine nature of sexuality, we will continue to see its desecration. This desecration isn't always dramatic or visible. Sometimes it's subtle - a look, a touch, a suggestion cloaked in spiritual vocabulary. Sometimes it's institutional - reinforced by centuries of theological doctrine or passed down through familial belief systems under the guise of tradition.
The body is not a prison of the soul. It is its sanctuary.
Sexuality is not just about flesh. It is about energy. It is the movement of life itself - a current that runs through all of us, asking to be acknowledged, not just expressed in physical intimacy, but in creativity, voice, movement, radiance, and presence. When we connect sexually with presence and love, something ancient in us wakes up. We become more alive, more aware, more receptive. The separation between body and soul disappears, and we remember ourselves as whole. This is not a fantasy or abstract mysticism. It’s a physiological and energetic reality. It’s the integration of nervous system, soul, and sacred eros.
At its core, sexuality is creative energy - what the Hindus call Shakti, the Taoists call Chi, and mystics understand as the breath of the Divine. It is the movement of life itself, the dance of opposites, the yin and yang seeking harmony. In this sense, to be sexual is not merely to desire or act - it is to be alive, to feel deeply, and to touch the mystery of being. When this energy is honoured, it becomes a powerful vehicle for awakening: It grounds us in the body while expanding us beyond it, it dissolves ego and separation, and it reveals our deep longing for union - not only with another, but with the Source itself.
The great mystics knew this. In the Song of Songs, we hear of divine love through erotic imagery. In Egyptian cosmology, the god and goddess unite sexually to sustain creation. In Sufism, union with the Beloved is described with such sensual intimacy that its poetry borders on the erotic. This is not blasphemy. It is integration. It is a recognition that human love and divine love mirror each other when they are entered into with reverence. But this power is not without risk. Because anything that carries this much spiritual potency can also be misused.
Walk into many spiritual retreats or communities that promise “healing through sacred sexuality,” and you may encounter either the most profound liberation, or a subtle form of grooming. Sometimes both, indistinguishably braided together.
The words sound beautiful. “Opening to the divine.” “Releasing sexual shame.” “Activating your sacred feminine.” “Healing your inner child through touch.”
But too often, the actions behind these phrases blur lines of consent, cross energetic boundaries, and dismiss resistance as mere “blockages.”
Let’s be clear:
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Spiritual power does not exempt anyone from basic consent.
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"Sacred" intimacy is still intimacy. It requires trust, agency, and freedom to say no without repercussion.
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Energy healing does not include sexual touch without explicit, clear, sober consent.
In tantric traditions, true sexual union is not about gratification but transformation. The merging of masculine and feminine energies - whether between partners or within oneself - can open gateways to spiritual enlightenment. The body becomes a temple, and pleasure becomes prayer. In Taoist inner alchemy, sexual energy is consciously circulated to nourish the organs, awaken the spirit, and prolong life. Similarly, mystic Christianity speaks of the bridal chamber of the soul - where the human unites with God in ecstasy and surrender. In these lineages, sexuality is not taboo - it is sacrosanct. And yet many spiritual leaders and facilitators have convinced their followers otherwise. The same hands that offer blessings have sometimes violated trust. The same lips that speak of God have spoken coercion in the name of surrender.
This grooming may begin subtly - a gentle hand on the back that lingers too long, suggestive eye contact during a ritual, or the introduction of breathwork that escalates to physical closeness under the pretext of “energy activation.” The follower, often in a vulnerable state, feels flattered, confused, or spiritually “chosen.” Over time, the sense of agency erodes.
This is how exploitation happens - not with force, but with false light.
Unfortunately, the deeper meanings of sexual energy have been ignored, feared, or manipulated - particularly in religious or authoritarian settings where control is prized over liberation. Many mainstream religious traditions (especially Abrahamic ones) have inherited a legacy of body-denial and sexual shame: Virginity is praised while desire is demonised; women are seen as temptresses, and men as inherently lustful, and celibacy is equated with purity, while embodied union is deemed sinful. This dualism of spirit versus flesh has severed humanity from its own divinity, casting sexuality into the realm of guilt, secrecy, and taboo. And in the shadows of this repression, great harm is done.
When sexuality is repressed and mystified without education or consent, it becomes fertile ground for spiritual abuse. Many so-called “spiritual leaders” have violated trust by claiming sexual contact as a means of “enlightenment” or “energy transmission”, by exploiting disciples or seekers who are vulnerable and open, or by framing inappropriate sexual behaviour as “divine intimacy” or “tantric initiation”. Such charismatic manipulation is not healing - it is predatory. It confuses genuine spiritual longing with psychological grooming and spiritual gaslighting. These abuses often go unreported, hidden behind layers of silence, community protection, and spiritual jargon. Victims are told they are “too contracted” or “not spiritually advanced enough” to understand what happened. And the abuser remains cloaked in robes of holiness.
While religious circles often get the spotlight in spiritual abuse scandals, the misuse of sacred sexuality also plays out - more quietly and more insidiously - in families and therapeutic settings. There are countless cases where parents or caretakers believe they are “liberating” children sexually, initiating them into awareness early to prevent repression. They might justify exposure to adult content, inappropriate touch, or many other forms and means of justifying the unjustifiable. This is not healing. It is harm wrapped in mysticism. Young children are developmentally unprepared to handle the nuance and complexity of sexual energy. Introducing them to these concepts under the guise of righteousness or love is a profound violation. It confuses their boundaries, hijacks their nervous systems, and plants seeds of lifelong confusion around love, power, pleasure, and trust. They need their innocence. They need space to become aware of their bodies in their own time. Not through exposure, subtle suggestion, or energy practices disguised as affection.
I have spoken with adults who were told as children that their boundaries were "fear-based conditioning" or that their discomfort was "resistance to love." That their trauma responses were evidence of "blocked energy." This is not healing. This is grooming wrapped in spiritual language. In some cases, children are brought into mixed-age nudity spaces under the banner of “freedom,” or encouraged to participate in sensual rituals without understanding. In others, they’re exposed to inappropriate conversations or “healing sessions” that speak of sexual trauma they cannot even comprehend. And sometimes, the harm is even more direct.
This issue is particularly sensitive because the perpetrators may genuinely believe they are helping. They may not see themselves as abusers. They may think they are creating a new, enlightened world. But when we dismiss a child's discomfort in favour of an ideology, spirituality, or religion - no matter how "progressive" - we commit a deep betrayal, and act of treason.
In modern spiritual circles, the rise of neo-Tantra, sacred sexuality workshops, and polyamory has brought both healing and harm. While many of these spaces aim to empower the feminine, they can unintentionally repeat the same patriarchal patterns, masked as freedom. For example, women may be told their “blocks” are preventing their pleasure, or men are given spiritual license to bypass emotional intimacy, or that consent is assumed because “we’re all adults on the path.” Under the banner of liberation, boundaries are eroded. The language of energy and spirit becomes a weapon to justify co-dependency, trauma bonding, or even abuse.
Many sacred sexuality communities promote constant arousal, prolonged pleasure, and energetic fireworks. While this can be liberating for some, it also risks turning sexuality into performance rather than presence. True sacred sexuality is not about how long or how loud. It is about how real. How reverent. How honest. When spirituality is tied to sexual performance or prowess, it subtly shames those who are healing, grieving, or not yet ready. All this pushes sexuality underground. Desire is demonised, the body is shamed, and celibacy is idealised. And in that darkness, unintegrated desires mutate into abuse. We’ve seen it in churches, monasteries, and seminaries worldwide. When natural sexual energy is suppressed, it doesn’t go away. It seeks expression. And when that expression is forbidden, it can become distorted. This is not a justification - it is a warning. The demonisation of the body always precedes its violation.
The stories of abuse by religious leaders and intra-family constellations are many and harrowing. Victims, often young boys and girls, silenced for decades. Covered up by religious doctrines, organisations more interested in protecting their reputation than their flock, or extended family networks that refuse to break cycles and rather perpetuate generations of abuse. When the sacred becomes a shield for sin, the very foundation of spiritual trust is broken.
Healing is possible - but only with Truth. We cannot heal what we won’t name. We cannot reclaim what we won’t protect. True sacred sexuality is not dramatic. It is not performative. It is rooted in presence, respect, and slowness. It is not about opening someone up. It is about being with what is already there - with gentleness and reverence. Somewhere deep in our collective memory is a place where the body and spirit were not at war. Where touch was safe. Where love was honest. Where sexuality was celebrated in presence. And perhaps that place is not lost. Perhaps it is just waiting. Waiting for us to remember. Waiting for us to choose again. To choose safety over spectacle. To choose reverence over rush. To choose truth over illusion. To choose the body, not as battleground, not as bait, but as beloved.
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